Everything
by Simple-Minded Idiot
Summary: Naruto wants to learn a new jutsu. Jiraiya is relentless. And Sasuke will do anything to make his blond happy. [mindless JiraSasu and NaruSasuNaru]


**Piece of advice / Note :** Don't take this seriously... that and I don't own the aforementioned characters and such. Super pervy! I'm also quite aware of the fact that the characters are horrendously OOC.

**Pairing :** There's NaruSasuNaru and gasp JiraSasu (one of a kind)

* * *

Naruto walked to his flat with a pout on his face. Damn ero-sennin. Why wouldn't he teach him that technique? _Why_? He was already powerful enough to learn that one. Besides, he wouldn't use it for evil. He wasn't like Orochimaru for crying out loud! Didn't his sensei trust him? And after all those years of helping him get research for his books... it was unfair! 

He opened his door and walked inside, closing it behind him. He was greeted with the sight of a very beautiful lunch. Smelled good too. Sasuke was sitting on one of the chairs, reading a book.

"Go clean up before you eat, dobe. I don't want to clean the floor or the kitchen," he said.

Naruto puffed his cheeks with indignation. Stupid anal-retentive Sasuke. At least the food that he cooked was good. It was obvious that the way to his heart was through his stomach. So because he wanted to eat so badly, he cleaned himself as much as possible then took his place on the table and began to eat. Sasuke put away the book, sighing all the while. Naruto would always be Naruto.

It was around the middle of lunch when Sasuke noticed that something was off with Naruto. Perhaps it was that angry look on his face that appeared every now and then or the larger than usual bites which would be saying a lot. Sooner or later, that dobe would choke if he continued eating like that... And he was right. He whacked Naruto on the back. Times like those made Naruto happy that Sakura didn't like him. It would hurt much more if it was Sakura who did it.

"What's wrong with you?" Sasuke asked as soon as Naruto could breathe normally once again.

The pout that was on Naruto's face when he arrived returned... and with a vengeance as it seemed to be bordering on a scowl. Something was _definitely_ wrong.

"I hate ero-sennin," he said.

Sasuke rolled his eyes. So it was that old man again. Nowadays, Naruto's complains seemed to be centered on the perverted sannin. It was most probably because he didn't want to teach Naruto this jutsu the latter thought was _super cool_. And he claimed that he was eighteen too. Simply childish, yet Sasuke fell head over heels for this fool. He himself couldn't believe it.

"What happened _this_ time?" he asked.

_Now_ was when Naruto's pout evolved into a scowl.

"He wouldn't teach me this jutsu. It's _way_ better than that completed Rasengan, you know, the one with the thing that looks like it also has Chidori," he said.

"It does," Sasuke said.

Sasuke sometimes hated his uncanny guessing abilities. Well, this time he was going to end all of this once and for all. He was getting tired of Naruto's ranting. Hell, he even continued while they were having sex. Not that Sasuke would say that Naruto's standards lowered, it was just that it was annoying to hear the dobe talk about his teacher when he could make use of his mouth in a much more productive way. Like kissing or making a hickey or two.

"After lunch, let's go to where Jiraiya is," he said.

Naruto beamed at him. Things _always_ worked out well when Sasuke was in charge. He ate with much gusto soon afterwards. He would finally learn that jutsu!

* * *

It was around an hour later when the two found themselves sitting in front of Jiraiya in the room that he was renting for the week and drinking tea. 

"I told you that I wouldn't teach you that jutsu, Naruto. You didn't need to bring reinforcements because nothing will make me change your mind," Jiraiya said sternly.

"Oh, but I have a proposal to make to you, Jiraiya, which might make you change your mind," Sasuke coolly said.

Jiraiya rose an eyebrow. What would that be? It sure seemed interesting since Uchiha was smirking. Must be something really big then. He leaned closer, obviously earnest to hear what it was. After all, it had Uchiha smirking.

"I've heard that you have trouble getting research, no matter how good you are at keeping yourself hidden." he said.

Jiraiya nodded. True, true. Women were just getting better at sensing him every single day. Quite saddening, really.

"You _are_ aware of the fact that women can't resist me, aren't you?" Sasuke asked.

Jiraiya nodded once again. Especially after he came back from Orochimaru. The clothes, no matter how pirate-like they were, made him look sexier. And even if he was evil... Now _all_ of the available women were chasing after him. Even after he himself told them that he was dating one Uzumaki Naruto who would've been killed by them if Sasuke wasn't there.

So... would Uchiha just kindly get to the point?

"I'll kindly lower myself to the level where I'd go get your research for you. If you don't want that, I could always use the dobe's Oiroke no Jutsu. I can assure you that I'm not that bad-looking at all. For more _personal_ and_ accurate _researches." he finished.

Naruto blinked. Sasuke was willing to do all of that just for him?! How... touching... He suppressed the urge to sniff and cry. Sasuke wouldn't like it if that happened.

Sasuke didn't mind all of those things if they could help his little dobe get what he wanted. He owed Naruto so much. He actually kept a mental list of his debts. Kept it a secret because Naruto wouldn't like it so much if he found out about it.

Jiraiya, on the other hand, was considering accepting the Uchiha's proposal. Very tempting indeed. What could he say? The boy had a way with his words. Probably because of Orochimaru. After all, one had to be exceptionally good with words to be able to manipulate others. But first...

"I want proof." he said.

Sasuke stood up then there was a poof and a puff of smoke and there was he in his Oiroke no Jutsu form, wearing an open bathroom robe. Underneath those robes were bandages. A makeshift bra and panty. _She_ was sitting with her legs _wide_ open. How Jiraiya itched to rip those offending articles off. Clothes were just such a bother, especially when she was practically naked already. She slowly slid her index finger from her belly button up to his lips. Sex on two legs indeed.

"Ne, Jiraiya-sama, is this enough proof?" she asked.

Even Naruto had to admit that that voice was cuter and more seductive than his oiroke's voice. Sasuke also had bigger babies and more defined features.

"Or do you... want more?" she continued.

Jiraiya couldn't do anything but nod. Sasuke then stood up and walked to him, her hips swaying sensually, then sat herself on his lap. She sure looked cozy there. Jiraiya's nose began to spurt out blood.

Sasuke then took off the bathrobe exposing even more pale, creamy skin. This was all to Jiraiya's approval. The bandages on her waist were rolled off by herself. Each new layer taken off brought a new level of enlightenment to Jiraiya. After that was taken care of, she wrapped her legs around Jiraiya's waist. More blood gushed out of the sannin's nose. Oh! OH YEAH!

"So will you teach dear Naruto-kun that jutsu he oh so badly wants to learn?" Sasuke asked. "I promise that you won't be disappointed. You can do whatever you want to do with me."

"I consent, I consent!" Jiraiya exclaimed after she inched nearer to him, her still-enclosed-in-bandages breasts going nearer and bigger.

Whatever, huh. So he did the one thing he had wanted to do for so long. He stroked cute little Sasuke-chan down there. Oddly enough, the boy-now-girl giggled. Nobody told her it would be_this_ much fun. She was more sensitive than any other woman he had ever seen.

Seeing as she looked so happy, he did that again. This time she squirmed, making her boobs bob cutely amidst all those bandages. So cutely that he thought he should see them for himself. That and they really were far too big. They might be unhappy being covered. The bandages slowly began to slip down them. A nipple could be seen. Pretty, perky, and round. That was how he liked them. Her breasts were shaped like that and_ more_._ More, more!_, Naruto and Jiraiya's minds chanted.

As much as Sasuke was his boyfriend, Naruto still very much enjoyed the view being presented to him. After all, he might pick up some techniques from this encounter.

"Would you do the honors, Jiraiya-sama?" she asked.

It took one tug for everything to be bared. They practically bounced out of the bandages as soon as there was enough space. Dark nipples greeted him. Jiraiya's eyes bulged. Wow... how big. He poked a boob and when he deemed that it was soft, he squeezed it, making Sasuke squirm deliciously once again. The boobies, now that they were_ free_, bobbed even more. He was entranced by the movements. Then he tweaked a nipple, earning him a moan. She put her arms around his neck and pulled his head to the middle of her chest, imploring him to just _feel_ everything. He was more than glad to do that. Mm... so soft and comfy, like pillows. Bouncy pillows. He rubbed his cheek on one boob, delighted that it _vibrated_ a bit.

Jiraiya's hands roamed everywhere with his face still on Sasuke's more than well-endowed chest. Groping, pinching, patting, and doing those other stuff. Personal and accurate research indeed. It was made even better by the fact that she was hotter than any other naked woman. Too bad that she was really a boy. Oh, well.

He licked a nipple and Sasuke shuddered. Naruto was having the time of his life.

* * *

Two weeks later, Naruto mastered the jutsu that started everything. That was also when Jiraiya released his newest book. It sold out faster than any other book in history. Combined with Sasuke and his researches, how could it not be? From then on, the Icha Icha books kept beating each other for best-seller. Each new book would be extremely better than the previous one. 

Sasuke had also gotten a second wardrobe. One that contained clothes Jiraiya gave to him... er... _her_. Naruto just kept seeing more jutsus he wanted to learn. And Sasuke, being the ever loving guy that he was, would do everything for him. That and... he kinda got used to being groped and all of that. Sometimes, both Naruto and Jiraiya would have a go on it, or her for that matter. Jiraiya would never dare going for male Sasuke. Naruto would kill him.

* * *

**Note :** Thank you for taking the time to read this. If you could, could you also comment on it? I really would like to see if I made any mistakes so that I can fix them. And, yes, you could even drop by and tell me that I am a sick and twisted bastard/bitch. I'm aware of that fact, too.

This fic might as well be the very first Jiraiya x Sasuke. Cause I'm odd. But hey, if there's OroSasu and SasuTsu, why not JiraSasu? Good things come in three's. Besides, there's also NaruSasu, so the offense should be lessened.

This was written when I noticed that there wasn't any JiraSasu but there was OroSasu and SasuTsuSasu. Though as far as I'm concerned, the possibility of JiraSasu happening is nil.


End file.
